Boss Babe it!

Recently I was having a conversation with a very good friend of mine called Sophie. I have to mention that she is loud, assertive, knows what she wants, so confident, and kind, all the qualities I consider boss babe character.

We were talking about some of the issues women have been awakened to in this century; gender parity, the measure of status, pay, power, pro-body or pro-choice, #Metoo movement among others.

There is no disputing that there has been a change in the past decade on how women relate to each other, their significant others, children, colleagues, and those superior to them in the workplace.

Women's voices are listened to, considered, and followed. If that is not boss babe status, I don't know what is. If you would like to unlock that part of your amazing self, here are a few pointers;

1. It's you and yourself

What are some of the values that guide you? Do you have principles you just cannot shake? Are you proactive or reactive? How about other people's opinions?

No matter the answers to these questions, boss babe status is knowing how you respond to them and what you do when you are at an impasse. Opinionated? Yes! Say those things people are afraid to say. Loud? Yes! Stand firm, speak for your sisters without a voice. Conflicted? Yes! Boss babe it all the way through.

2. Vulnerability is strength

If you ask random women what their definition of strength is, I guarantee some of the answers will be, 'standing up for myself, getting what I want no matter what, being the pillar for my family, multitasking at home and work.' All these are the dynamism of the female gender.

Vulnerability though is the ultimate boss babe's definition of strength. While a majority would think bawling your eyes out, breaking down, talking about the issues that are affecting you is weakness, it is your strength.

The ease at which you can tap into your emotions and have an open discussion about it and grow from it? The world's definition of being fragile is a boss babe status.

3. Go forth and conquer

"Go forth and conquer, for the world is small, and you are the giant, and in every step

you take will make the ground shake, as it rises, to meet you" - Atticus Poetry, Love Her Wild.

Need I add more?

4. Confidence

The sexiest outfit you can wear as a woman is confidence. A lot of issues common to the female gender; body image, self-esteem, doubt, relieving the past, rejection, untrustworthiness, can all be fixed with a dose of confidence.

You are not a boss babe despite your femininity issues, you're a boss babe because of your femininity issues. Walk into that class, that interview, that meeting, that presentation. Confidence will make their heads turn, curiosity will be peaked, attention arrested without apology.

5. Aspire to Inspire

How can you pass down this boss babe status? What are some of the ways you can show others how to break down barriers? Are others boxed in? One answer for all these questions; inspire.

Pass down the nuggets of wisdom you have learned throughout your life to the little sisters coming up after you and looking up to you for mentorship. If you can't inspire those coming after you what is the point of breaking the barriers anyway.

6. Command respect

When people hear your heels approaching, they must come correct. The smell of that cologne you bought with your money should alert your naysayers that you have arrived and they must comply. Failed at that presentation at work? Strut away, head held high, make sure they hear you climb up those stairs all the way to the top, that is the boss babe way.

7. Ask for sex

Asking, in my opinion, is what puts men ahead. Whether it's a salary raise, promotion, marriage, or sex. And as they say, what a man can do, a woman can do better. But asking for sex makes me look desperate? So what? You could be desperate. Accept it, or not, go get some.

They will not complain when you ask. Use your words as you ask. It is yet to be proven that the opposite gender can read minds. Being a boss babe is not being bothered by other people's opinions of you. So, you're not desperate, you just want to be stretched out.

8. No kids, no problem

The societal norm of women bearing and giving life is common all over Africa and the world. However, some women do not want to bear or have kids. If you are one of them, you're completely normal despite your reasons.

The pressure to conform to the pressures of society can be daunting. But having kids is not a big deal, the world is full as it is now. You can still have fun as an auntie, a big sister to those kids who don't have parents, and still be at peace.

9. The world is your oyster

This is one of those phrases we like saying but have a problem actually following through. The world is full of opportunities, people want their problems solved, it is entirely up to you to find and curve your niche and grab all those opportunities as the boss babe that you are. You can do anything. Can't is not in the vocabulary of a boss babe.

10. Building relationships

No woman is an island. We all need someone at one point to guide, talk to, criticize, and even hate as a motivation to keep waking up every morning. Boss babe status is recognizing the need of being surrounded by people who love you, constantly participating in their lives, supporting, and showing up even when you don't want to.

11. Communication, conversations, engagements

In his verse where Drake features in Kendrick Lamar's song, 'Poetic Justice', he says, 'communication save relations'. Isn't that the truth?

Talking, listening, paying attention, and giving feedback are the human forms of interactions. As a boss babe, you cannot have conversations and engagements when you fail to communicate verbally and non-verbally.

12. E.Q is more important than I.Q

Women are generally emotional. The easiness at which we can always say how we feel has put us way ahead of the game of life. This is the reason as a boss babe, you must always be aware of the emotions you are feeling at all times, evaluate the new emotions, and constantly have them in control.

You can be the smartest woman in the world, but if your emotions are all over the place, you will never know how to express yourself.

13. Oneness of the mind, heart, body, and soul

These four are the driving force of any boss babe. They must always be in sync. For them to be in sync, you have to take charge.

A boss babe constantly feeds her mind, always is aware of what is happening in her heart, works out, and has a connection with the one who gives her life. A boss babe is a leader, a leader congregates with her mind, heart, body, and soul daily.

14. Criticism? Yes, please

We all love some ego strokes, wanted and unwanted compliments, glowing reviews, cheering, positive words about who we are, and recognition.

Negative comments are usually met by a lot of resistance. Boss babe status means accepting positive compliments with humility and listening to negative comments with gracefulness. Criticism is growth, growth is advancement.