Girl Code; Unwritten Rules

As a gender we have so many moving parts it’s hard to keep up with each one of them, let alone keep up with another person. This is why I am always so fascinated by girl friendships. I have been taking some time to reflect on some of my earliest friendships. While I didn’t really have many friends growing up (topic of another day), I had one or three friends I have been in touch with to date.

While women are considered great communicators, we don’t really thrive in it either. We mostly assume that people know what we are saying, and we don’t really know how to say exactly what we need. It’s ironic, I know.

This is why I present to you the girl code; unwritten rules for you trying to navigate adult girl friendships with all the complexities, or for you trying to understand why you never have long-term friends.

1. Truth hurts – don’t look for something more exciting

Being true to yourself is easy in my opinion because if you don’t like how you’re doing things, you can just change it. Telling your girlfriend the truth on the other hand is the hardest thing. You will not really know how she’ll take it till after. That aside, tell her the truth even if it will hurt her feelings. She may not see the benefit at the time, but she will one day. Say the truth on big life choices, or small ones like her lipstick choice was just a no, or when she has lipstick or a piece of vegetable stuck in her teeth.

2. Personal photography

Take as many pictures of her as you can whether she wants to or not. She will still tell you ‘send me those pictures’ when you’re done. Plus memories live in pictures. You will also have something to taunt her with, because what’s friendship without some embarrassing moments.

3. Her poison isn’t your meat

An ex, a crush is just a no. Why would you do that? Life is complicated enough, you shouldn’t be adding more to it.

4. Attached at the hip

When you go somewhere, make sure you leave with her. We don’t leave each other behind unless it’s a family thing and you know she’ll be safe. Also, accompany her to the bathroom, she may need help.

5. First date companions

In this world of dating apps and DMs that turn into dates, it’s safe to accompany her to one. I don’t mean that you should sit at the same table, but be close enough such that when something happens you can be her wonder woman.

6. Girl to the rescue

Never leave a girl that you know or don’t know in distress. By distress I mean when a creepy guy won’t leave her alone or if she’s crying in a bathroom, if you find her throwing up in the bathroom, or if you see something dangerous happening.

7. Cheerleading

If you don’t cheer each other on, is that even a friendship? A cheerleader cheers even when a team is clearly losing.

8. Ovaries before brovaries

Boys are wonderful creatures, that’s no secret. However, don’t let one or more of them come between you. Boys come and go, your girlfriend is forever.

9. Proof-reading texts

We are masters at texting, especially when we are angry. Always ensure that you proofread those texts and even give suggestions, we do not joke with grammar.

10. She protec, she attac

Having a girlfriend is like having a personal bodyguard and mental specialist. Protect her from things she thinks she can control but actually can’t, defend her when she’s not there, cover her in prayer, threaten the new beau, and don’t talk ill of her ever.

11. Tease town

Are you friends if you don’t tease her? Teasing keeps the friendship fresh. It also reminds her to be humble.

12. Be there no matter what

You will not agree with her opinions 90% of the time, she will not like what you will say most times, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be there. Even when you are on the outside looking in and you see something she’s not seeing and she doesn’t want to listen, just be there. Plus you will get to tell her ‘I told you so’.

13. Celebrate, appreciate

Celebrate friendiversaries, small wins, large wins, promotions, or anything really. This will help you acknowledge where you have come from and the things you have gone through together.

14. Take her phone away

Is she a spent thrift? Take her phone away. She wants to message an ex because she’s emotional? Take her phone away. She’s on the phone when you are trying to hold a conversation? Take it away. You want her to read a book and expand her vocabulary? Take her phone away.

All of that notwithstanding, I am not of the opinion that if your girlfriend has enemies you should also inherit them as same. Always be on her side, in the neutral, but also on your side.