Girl, why so jealous?

I have always been amazed at the dynamism of female friendships. Me saying I have understood how those friendships work would be an understatement, despite being a woman myself with friends.

On the one hand, female friends require you to be honest with them, tell them the truth even, be as blunt as you possibly can. When you do that, you are shunned, not only by her but with her network of friends. When you do the exact opposite, you are labeled a hater especially when it’s a sensitive issue.

Can we talk about the jealousy between and among female friends? Why is it so easy to be envious of what your friend has or doesn’t have? So your friend had a stable father growing up so she doesn’t do stupid things because she knows her worth. It doesn’t mean that you who didn’t have a father is anything less, it doesn’t mean that you can’t make a conscious decision to do the right thing, and it also doesn’t mean that your friend is not dealing with other issues, you probably wouldn’t have a clue of how to start?

So your friend is dating a moderately nice guy who treats her well. It just so happens that this guy is loaded money-wise. Has a nice job, maybe driving a car, lives in a nice place, is tall dark, and handsome (or whatever society says is the caliber of an attractive man). Why can’t you be happy for her, instead of giving her bad advice, slowly conniving how to get him or how to ensure that relationship breaks.

So your friend is literally breaking the glass ceiling at work, securing the bag, maybe working two or three jobs to be independent when your time has not come yet, you’re probably just surviving trying to make ends meet. Why can’t you as her friend fix her crown when she feels like she’s drowning, pray with her when she needs it, or be a cheerleader. Wouldn’t you want support when you are working that hard? Instead you give her bad advice, end the relationship when she can’t afford to lend you money or spread rumors that she is sleeping her way to the top. Make it make sense, please!

I am not here to say that having feelings of jealousy is bad, it’s a normal human emotion we all deal with, how we handle it is what separates us from people we wouldn’t want around us.

So what should you do when you are feeling some type of way about that friend of yours?

1. If you don’t ask, the answer will always be no

Ask your friend what makes them seem so stable, how she got a good job and what she had to do, how she worked on herself that made her know herself in order to attract the person God intended for her.

Asking for these pointers may give you ideas, inspire you to do more with the opportunities you have, maybe go back to school, stop getting into toxic situationships with men, or even see someone about your childhood traumas.

2. It’s not always as it seems

Just because your friend seems altogether, it doesn’t mean they have figured life out. The one thing you can count on is the uncertainties of life. The fact that they have one side perfectly figured out, know that another part of their life is horribly falling apart.

Recognizing this should give you the peace that even though you are a mess, your friend’s life is not together either, you are all trying to remain sane in this world that is constantly chaotic. So the best thing to do would be to support one another.

3. Count your blessings name them one by one

Anytime you feel jealousy pangs coming on, start to count the things you are grateful you have or don’t have that make you feel good. It can be as simple as food to eat, a roof over my head, a job, one degree, peace, love, joy, family, life, or what have you.

When you are grateful for what you have, those feelings of jealousy become fleeting quickly. Be a glass half, instead of a glass half empty kind of girl.

4. Happiness will always be an inside job

Wake up daily and choose happiness. Work on yourself. Find the things that make you happy. Create a list of a threshold of the things you can handle. Come up with a daily mantra that you say in the morning, and when you feel like you are drowning. How about daily affirmations? And most of all, believe that you are being molded into being an absolute boss babe. Take comfort in that.

As I conclude…

Yes, society says that women are their worst enemies, you as an individual in your group of friends should strive to be different. Who says you have to conform to what the majority are doing. Work on your friendships like a full-time job, water the grass on your end, choose peace, don’t fight over nonsense, and most of all, wooosaaaah. Happy International Women’s Day!