Turns Out, I'm Actually a Softie

One of the more surprising discoveries I’ve made at 32 is that I’m actually a sweet person. 

I know. Groundbreaking news 😂

Somewhere along the way, I developed an exterior that might have convinced people that I was emotionally unavailable, perpetually unbothered, or capable of handling everything without assistance. 

The truth? I can be all of those things on a good day; on other days, I’m just a softie with an excellent poker face. 

This year has taught me a lot about how I love people and how much people in my life mean to me. 

I’ve had to navigate relationships, watch some of them be tested, and learn more about what it means to show up for the people I care about. Not just through words (these matter as well), but through presence, kindness, support, and the little things that tell someone, I’m here. 

I’ve also made new friends this year, which is a bigger deal than it might sound. 

Making friends has never come particularly easily to me; I can be very passionate. So, allowing new people into my life and discovering the joy of those connections has been one of my unexpected highlights. 

Turns out, building friendships as an adult requires a little courage, some intentionality, and occasionally leaving the house? Who knew? Lol. 

Beyond the light-heartedness, I’m learning that connection requires us to let ourselves be seen - this can be uncomfortable when you’re used to figuring things out on your own. 

I also discovered that I’ve always been like this; I was just running away from it, not wanting to accept it. Maybe being ‘tough’ was marketed as being superior, so I went with it, or maybe it’s just a personality flaw, or maybe it’s a defense mechanism (I think this is the one), or maybe it's all of it. 

All in all, I have learned that I can have a tough exterior and a tender heart; I can protect my peace without shutting everyone out. 

As I prepare to turn 33, I want to keep making room for meaningful relationships; I want to keep showing up for my people and allowing them to show up for me too (I’ll admit I’m still struggling with that)

Maybe being strong isn’t always about handling everything alone. Sometimes it’s about being brave enough to love people openly, make room for friendship, and let the right people know the softer parts of you. 

And apparently, mine have been there all along!